Before the continental drift around 175 million years ago, in the times of Pangea, India and Australia shared a border. Perhaps this is why I often get asked who my mob is. I love that question. It makes me feel welcome and gives me a sense of belonging. The fact that I was born displaced becomes less prominent. But I have to apologetically answer that I am Indian. However, as a person of colour, I have a lot more in common with the first people of this nation.

I have met with my share of white supremacy and racism. But this one conversation about Pangea keeps circling back into my memory. A few years ago, I used to car pool with a colleague. Very white and very racist. I naively believed that grace and patience will help this person see that people are people. Some are good and some are not so good. Regardless of the colour of their skin or the languages they spoke. I ignored her subtle microaggressions. “You are not like the others, I like you”. “We don’t mind people like you. You came to Australia the right way.” I was inexperienced to deal with this type of racism and I also didn’t know how to tell her off and continue working with her.

One day, while we were in the car, we started talking about evolution and I said that there was a huge mass of land during the time of Pangea. Instead of asking what that was, she just said, “WE don’t call it Pangea.” When I persisted what she called it, she just said, “I’m not sure, but definitely not Pangea.” I didn’t pursue the matter but I should have. That memory is etched in my brain and I often question my decision to not call her out. Why did I choose to allow her to believe that I was not smarter, better read, and probably more highly educated? Of course, she is not a part of my life anymore but I just wish I had had the courage to not take that.

Since then, I have grown as a person and do not tolerate any kind of racism towards me or the people I know and love. I call things out no matter how many times I have to hear, “I don’t see colour.”

My reply, “I want you to see my colour and understand what that means when I am dealing with job interviews, entitled white bosses, and pretty much my daily life.”

We often look for roads to lead us somewhere. Some of them to help lead us onto pathways that may give us health, wealth, and we assume, eventually happiness. We search and seek for these roads thinking our “if only…then” thoughts. If only I had a million dollars…then….If only I had a bigger home, a better job, a nicer car…and so on. We also look for roads that can help lead us away. Away from poverty, unhappiness, loneliness, bad relationships, abuse…These roads are often birthed through all the rules and expectations that have been dictated to us throughout our lives, by our families, our teachers, our communities, and the world at large. We believe that our success has to be showy and materialistic. Big and luxurious everything. The oohs and aahs of our counterparts excite and validate us. We then never stop the mad seeking for these roads. We waste our short, precious gift of life seeking for happiness from outside. We sometimes believe that our problems are caused by us and not the bad behaviour of others. We find ways to hide our shame and those roads may take us deeper into the woods. Some of us never find our way back.

In our search for this toward and away dance, we often forget that there is a more powerful road. It is not showy or loud but a gentle pulse within us. It whispers and it has no rules. This road may not give us flash houses and cars, but it will most definitely lead us to where we need to be. We may not want to be there but in its wisdom, the universe within us always delivers what we need. Every. Single. Time.

So, how do we find this presumably “yellow bricked road”? We need to make a pit stop, take our eyes off the road we are on, and close them. Take a moment to rest and look within. Our hearts and minds know. We know too but we choose to ignore. Have that honest conversation with ourselves. Ask difficult questions. “What choices in my life brought me to this point?” “Who did I serve today?” “What is my bliss?” “Do I want to take this precious gift of life and personal choices and give it to someone else to make decisions for me?” “Can I call my job my craft?” “What is truly important to me?”

The truth is every moment counts and is what life is made up of. A successful life does not need to be dictated by those around us. A successful life can be the life we dictate to ourselves. We can experience joy and love in small moments that add up to be the memories that we cherish. We can take a simple walk in nature and be awed by its majesty and power. We can feed a homeless person and nourish their soul. We can spend time with the people we love because that very important project can wait a few hours. We never know how long we will live but we can choose the way we live. Every. Single. Time.

I recently lost a friend. Not to cancer, disease, old age or even death. I lost my friend to carelessness, neglect and arrogance. I shall name this person ex-friend (EF). From EF’s perspective, the friendship ended over ONE action, or inaction in this case. But it never is so, is it? People don’t just up and go because of ONE incident although the last incident may be the proverbial last straw. People leave because like most diseases that kill, it is an accumulative lifestyle of over-indulgence and neglect.

This is why I left. I have known EF for a while and I realised ours was a relationship where I gave more than I ever received. No phone calls when I was down, no helping hand when I needed one and always unapologetically so. I understand everyone has a life of their own and do not need to be by anybody’s side but if that was the case, then I didn’t want such a high maintenance friendship. It was an uncaring friendship of labels and put downs. It was a friendship of artificial harmony; everything was ok as long as no difficult questions were asked or no honest opinions shared. Why I kept at it for as long as I did, I don’t know. In the end, it took a toll on a friendship that could have been a great one.

Here’s wishing for honest, open relationships that last…

My husband just came back from a holiday in Malaysia…and along with his many gifts for us, he brought back memories of another life. A life that was easier, happier and filled with daily joy. It made me rethink my life now. I am not unhappy but there’s something missing…I miss the tropics, the food, the laughter of friends and the daily simple life. So why did I leave? Damn the politicians of this world who in their quest for power, power and more power, displace the very people who voted them in. I left because despite the love, the weather and the simplicity, I craved freedom of speech and choice, I wanted unbiased education for my child and most of all I wanted to be myself without fear or prejudice. So I gave up many things that I loved. Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to give up on my friends for distance, weather and hardship have not diminished my love for them and thanks to the 21st century, I am able to keep in touch. Thank you for keeping me in your hearts and taking the trouble to indulge my neediness. Friends, what would the world be without them.

 

I AM…what does that mean? I am here, a child of the universe…made up of substances found in stars… I am one of 7 billion of the species we call homo sapiens, latin for “wise or knowing man”, and only about 200 000 years old. What makes my existence special, unique and worthwhile? Apart from the usual doing good and creating peace and harmony stuff? I am special because of all the species that share this planet, I am the only one who can make decisions that will affect the rest. I have choices and depending on the choices that I make, the planet itself could cease to exist someday in the future. I AM…therefore my existence is of utmost importance. EVERYTHING I eat, do, think, imagine and create is important. While I am thankful for this opportunity, I need to tread carefully for there is more than just homo sapiens depending on my wisdom and knowledge.

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Desiderata

Recently, I got into some trouble with old school mates simply because I was brave enough to say what almost everyone else was thinking. My reaction to what I felt an unneccesary demand was to demand the same kind of respect. What happened next has left me rather confused and a little surprised. While a few privately supported what I had said, many openly objected my view. One person ‘suggested’ that the use of the cross which was the original school emblem on a reunion souvenir would be ‘religiously insensitive’. I thought it was ‘insensitive’ of her to ‘suggest’ this as she could not care less who she hurt as long as it fit into her personal religious views. Unfortunately for me and the rest of the group, who by the way are hopefully trying to change the way things are in Malaysia, fear overcame truth. Someone, even ended up apologising.

The more I think about this, the more I understand the power of fear. It is crippling and takes away one’s energy and strength to stand up for what is right. I am also beginning to see how the government and the people of Malaysia co-exist in artificial harmony. The underlying factor is fear. Having said that, I also personally know many brave souls who have been fighting the good fight in the hope that some day, somehow everyone will be respected without demands.

 

A very dear friend recently ‘retired’ and has decided to move to another country! It made me think of change and ‘newness’. Why do we do the same thing for a major part of our lives and then move onto something new and different? I think because it is simply time to do so. No matter what anyone says, our lives are intertwined with nature. And renewal is an ever recurring theme in nature. It may take a while but plants and animals including us are always evolving; physically, emotionally and mentally. The changes may be subtle but they are there, always…So to my dear friend…I wish you all the best from the depth of my being and may this evolution take you to new heights and may you find more love and happiness in this new path.

Americans celebrated Thanksgiving recently. Like most American traditions, it permeated many other parts of the earth. All over the world, people gave thanks to the many miracles in their lives. It created a wave of awareness of just how lucky and extraordinary our ordinary lives are. I can’t even begin to list what I’m thankful for…the list is simply too long and somewhat personal. But I must say that I’m extremely thankful for the chance to say THANK YOU, for simply being alive and well.